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The Seed
Loving Child-Gentle soul
lost at times, this I know.
Weight of the world bearing down
smothering, plundering, taking it all,
leaving you nothing, empty and small.
ripped to shreds left in thrall.
Left, right, in front and behind
nipping at your heels
wanting to steal
the last breath you have to give
left wondering how do you live
sucked to the bone
empty and alone
Lashing out, screaming in pain
curled in a ball, pulling the chains
wrapped in your head
better off dead
pools of blood, sticky and red
when will it end, streams to
the ground
with a jagged breath
you look around
picking up your thoughts one
by one
put them in your pocket
thinking your done
one left on the ground so tiny
and small
nothing but a flaw
berated, saturated, no more room
so full of hate
not even realizing it is
the Gate
Pick it up! my child I beg
put it back in your head
a seed of thought
from long ago
the answer to all your woe
it never leaves you, its always there
it was planted with so much care
dry and brittle it has become
planted deep
reaching for the sun
You are not broken
you are not done!
Poetry by RUMI — Only Breath (by dkadagian)
Why homosexuality should be banned.
To Love or not to Love, that is the question.
This morning I got to thinking about love and this is what has hit me.
I used to up until just this moment, think of love as exclusive. That there would always be that one person that was my be all, end all and I have spent my life jumping from one relationship to another in search of that ONE person. In doing that I have just realized that I have been very blind and have not only short changed myself and the person I am with, but I also neatly put them in a box and labeled them LOVE, stuck them in a dark and musty closet never even contemplating taking them out and reassessing my “idea” of love. Its love after all and its perfect so why should I have to reassess it? I realize this was an error.
I have realized that by making ONE person my be all end all, I have doomed us to fail. For no one person can give you everything you seek or desire from another. Its impossible. I used to think that Men and Women could not be friends, because inevitably the woman would develop strong feelings of Love for the other individual…as a woman I know this to be true, for me at least, but I think its true for most women as well. So…I never ever went out of my way to make strong bonds with other men outside my relationship because I was afraid that I would develop feelings for them and it would interfere with my ONE. How limiting this thought is I now realize.
The phrase “Emotionally Cheating” keeps popping into my mind, what the hell does that mean anyways…why did I ever even buy into that concept? Just because I love another man and we talk about things that are intimate ( I dont’ mean sex here) to me or him when I’m in a relationship with someone else why does that mean I am emotionally cheating???! All the sudden that concept seems so ludicrous to me. Am I not capable of sharing emotional intimacy with more than one person? Society seems to teach us that this is wrong…but I think I have come to the conclusion that it is “They” that are wrong. I am not an animal that is incapable of anything other than instinct.
There have been several men who have come into my life over the past oh three, four years. Each one of them different, each one of them fulfill something the other does not. One of them has done great things for me emotionally and spiritually, One of them has simply been a friend whom I can josh and kid around with, One of them has become my lover and mate. All of them are important to me and I cherish what I have with them deeply.
So as long as I’m being honest with myself, I ask the question…is there sexual chemistry or tension with all of them. Yes and No. I know, I know…sounds like the easy answer, but in reality its not. Its the honest answer. But it also goes so much deeper than just basic sexual urges and really isn’t even in the same category. It’s more along the lines of a desire of sharing oneself completely with another being that you have connected to on a deep level and has absolutely nothing to do with lust. I might point out that there are women I feel this way about as well and that it is NOT exclusive to only the men in my life. Does this mean I would act on this feeling and risk hurting the one I have chosen to be my mate and lover. No it does not, It means that I acknowledge the special dynamics of the relationship and am glad for it because it lends something to the relationship that is ultimately deeper and closer.
Much Love and Peace to you
Submission
My Dearest Beloved,
Waking up in the early morning light, a half hour before you. watching you sleep, and smiling at the thought of getting your coffee/tea and breakfast for you. Sitting softly on the bed next to you, calling your name lovingly and ever so softly coaxing you out of sleep. Hearing Alhumdulllillah fall from your lips first, then seeing the warm smile creep across your sleepy face as I tell you its time to pray. Watching you submit before the Raab of the Alamin in cool, crisp darkness. Hearing you weep in gratitude. Softness, humbleness, a gentle touch. Watching the intenseness on your face as you tell me a new concept, the excitedness in which I interupt you with as my mind wraps itself around this new concept and the gentleness in which you answer my questions. Sitting in the window waiting for you to come home from work and the longing that accompanies me throughout the day as I miss you. Contentment. Asking Allah five times a day to guide you, so that you may guide me with wisdom and love. Sitting at your feet with my head in your lap, feeling you stroke my hair as we listen to a lecture together. Laughing until our sides hurt. Doing good deeds with you by my side.The gentle firmness in which you deal with me when I am being childish. Your acceptance of my wandering mind. My acceptance of your wondering mind. Being able to ask why and getting an answer. Watching you lead me spiritually and knowing you would never mislead me. The example you set for all men, the example I set for all women. tasting the Quran instead of just reading it.Feeling the Quran instead of just seeing it. Rumi. The blue crystal leafed tree in Jennaah. Reading to you when your eyes are tired. Joy. You wiping tears from my eyes. Forgiveness.Protection and a peace of mind. Warmth. Knowing that with your happiness comes my salvation and knowing you would never abuse that. Being comfortable in my skin. Never feeling lust for you.Completion. Soft whispers. you slaying my dragons. Seeing the illusions. Waiting for you in the dark. Love….Unquestionable devotion and love.This is what Submission is to me
Noor
Spice and Sunshine
My Dearest Beloved,
I suppose I am on a journey and searching for something I haven’t found yet. The best thing to do is to just let things come from my heart and if its meant to be…it will be. I love words and the strength they hold. I am poetic and a dreamer. I love Allah with all my heart, even though i find myself struggling from time to time with issues of self and ego. I suppose this is the human form and is a burden we all carry. I fancy myself a bohemian, always trying to nurture my artistic/spiritual side. I dream of going away to far off lands, meeting and loving people, where my smile is always quick to my face, and my hands always eager to make a difference. I find myself frozen in place when i cannot live life in such a manner. Romanticism. I see myself in a cozy shop, where people come and find comfort and eclectic thoughts from around the world, while sipping coffee and speaking in low hushed tones as excitement drips from their voices, browsing through the books that hold the secrets of the world, middle eastern music playing in the background….it feels like morocco, Egypt, Jerusalem..and smells like sunshine and spice, sitting on a pillow listening to great thinkers as philosophy and explosive ideas sink into my skin…..this is my heaven on earth.
Love,
Noor
